Banff – Historical Photo 1966
Peter Strikes a more Conciliatory Tone
January 13th 1966, Calgary
My dear Biene,
Much has been happening on my side, and if you hadn’t written so quickly, I would have sent you a letter anyway in the next couple of days.
Warm thoughts about you flow again through my heart. Although truth sometimes hurts, it is never as cruel as nebulous uncertainty. Many people don’t manage to bear the tragedy of life with assured hearts. They actually prefer to indulge in fuzzy daydreams and attempt to escape the challenges of life. You know now that I don’t belong to this kind of people and would not want to be categorized as such. Dear Biene, please take these philosophical considerations seriously; especially as they relate to our own experiences.
But first of all let me tell you what I think about what you have written and then let me know whether you agree. I would congratulate you very much, if the ambassador would grant your request for a work visa. Please don’t count on a positive response. For he knows the regulations and he cannot change them. If you cannot support our original plan and wish to spare your mother any more grief, then the only way out is to make a new application from you end.
But now to your plans! Believe me, it would turn out to be a heavy burden for our entire future, if you were going to fly home and then come back after your final farewell. Not even a rich man would throw so much money out of the window and yet at the beginning we will belong to the poorest of the poor. You work and sacrifice your health to pay for the flight, then again you work throughout the summer just to fly back home and would not have any money to fly again. Did your mother not consider that they rob you of your youthful energy, which should be devoted to us both? Is this true motherly love? I really don’t want to get angry again, but I am facing a human puzzle. What grief will you cause all over again, when you have to say your final farewell! And as my wife you will fly back to Germany. Your mother will feel like having been deceived, and I will be disappointed that you rank your love to your parents higher than your care for our challenging start in life here. Your parents want that you can make a free decision. Why not? Here is a new suggestion. I go one more time to the immigration office and ask for an extension of our wedding date so that you can freely decide whether you like it or not. In case you cannot stand it or the strange environment drives you back home, then take my money as much as you need and fly home again. I am prepared to give my word to you and to your parents even in writing if necessary.
The chest with your belongings may be shipped after you have made your decision to stay. Biene. Is this not a good suggestion, if the deadline for our wedding is extended to three months? Would you be so kind and make your parents aware of this proposal? By their reaction you will know if they really want your best or whether they are simply trying to keep you near them for the foreseeable future. They pay nothing for your wedding. Do they also want that you pay for the return ticket? The $500.00 could furnish our apartment or house, if I was going to remain and teach in Calgary. Enough of it!
At Gerry’s family (Fyffe Road) a little baby girl by the name of Jaqueline has been born. My brother voiced his opinion in his humorous manner and said, ‘Now Martha has got what she wanted and hopefully from now on she will let me sleep in peace.’ I had to laugh at the way he said it.
Always in love
Your Peter
The Peter and Gertrud Klopp Family 
That sounds like a very fair compromise to me. But did she buy into it? I await the next chapter.
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Oh, Amy, it feels so good to have your support for my suggested compromise. Will she buy into it? You need to read her response next Friday. Have a great weekend!
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How complicated relationships become when we resort to people pleasing and placating. Bien appears to want to please everyone at the expense of her marriage to you. A fair compromise is being offered. Awaiting the next chapter.
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Well said! In order to please all the parties involved Biene made some decisions, which were in direct conflict with our original plan. The next episode will present Biene’s response to my letter added a few more wrinkles to the already already complex story.
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True life often is much more complicated and interesting than fiction. Awaiting the next chapter.
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So true!
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Sounds like a good idea. I agree that the double ticket cost would have been a waste of hard earned money. I also think you were right about the deceiving part. A pity that Biene couldn’t rely on at least one friend. She could have stashed her things in a box there. I mean, if Biene was afraid her folks wouldn’t send her her stuff.
Yes, yours was a very reasonable proposal. I am sure Biene could see it. 😉
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You hit the nail on the head, Brigit. It would have been a waste of money to pay for three flights where one would have been enough to bring us together. Biene’s response will show that not much was gained except that our love for each other remained strong and did not let our relationship suffer because of our difference of opinion. Thank you for your kind comment!
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Peter, that was a very wise move, your suggestion to Biene. By now I kind of fell, that this seems to be like a chess game, moving the kings around. Well I don’t know much about chess, but knowing enough that it works with well thought strategies, to win, except in this chess game you both will be the winners. Waiting patiently for next Friday. Have a great weekend
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The analogy of our love story with a chess game is a good one. It throws new light on the situation from a fresh insight. The strategy I used to convince Biene to return to our original plan was indeed influenced by the fact that I was at the time a passionate chess player. Thank you, Cornelia, for this insightful comment!
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That is really interesting, Peter, that you were into chess games at the same time. Intuition is what it is
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It’s a difficult situation I find you in at this time, Peter, trying to honor Biene’s obligation to family and moving on to start your own. Although you two aren’t yet on the same page, I see compassion for each other’s feelings, which is probably why you’re still together today. Always a great read!
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Put in some other words: we have been tested to the very limits of what we could bear so that when crises did develop later down the road they appeared small by comparison and with compassion present most of time were easily overcome. Thank you so much for your compliment, Des!
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I think, your letter was really wonderful, dear Peter, full of good suggestions and very realistic. Poor Biene was probably torn between you and her parents. Must have been hard for her, too, but sometimes you have to make decisions. Always a pleasure to read your stories, dear Peter. Have a lovely weekend. We have fantastic ,sunny, warm weather here, hope you, too. Kind regards Mitza
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What a nice thing to say, Mitza! I appreciate your kind words, which are revealing a lot of insight. Yes Biene was in the crossfire from so many sides, yet even though I was removed from the daily hassle I felt so powerless and had only my letters to take part in the great debate.
Here in Western Canada we also enjoy warm and sunny weather. But it appears already as something too much of a good thing. The threat of forest fires is already on everybody’s mind. Kind regards! Peter
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I think you must be an old soul. Your looking at common sense solutions that most people would have given up on early. Looking forward to the next chapter.
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Thank you for your kind comment! Old soul, I really like this expression. Have a great weekend!
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Das war ein fairer Vorschlag von Dir, Peter! Nicht viele in Eurer Situation hätten immer wieder versucht, für alle einen annehmbaren Kompromiss zu finden. Ihr habt beide wirklich viel Geduld bewiesen. Auch wenn viel Verzweiflung dabei war. Und daß Bine ihr schwer verdientes Geld opfern wollte, um den Eltern so wenig wie möglich wehzutun, sagt so einiges aus.
Du hattest vollkommen Recht, dem nicht zuzustimmen..
Wie hier im Blog schon so oft gesagt wurde: Man muß die Kinder gehen lassen, damit sie wiederkommen! Auch wenn es noch so weh tut..
Herzliche Grüße!
Edda
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Liebe Edda! Ich bin gerade bei unserem Sohn Michael in Vernon. Er wird mich Morgen nach Kelowna fahren. Bienchen ist zu Hause geblieben, unser Stefan ist ja noch immer zu Besuch.
Wieder hast du mich mit deinem lieben Kommentar erfreut. Es ist wirklich so , als ob du unsere Geschichte wie in einem Film miterlebst. Du hast schon recht. Mir war es gar nicht recht, dass Biene zu Weihnachten wieder nach Hause fliegen wollte. Es ging ja auch nicht allein um das Geld, das wir am Anfang so nötig brauchten. Da war auch die Gefühlskomponente, die mir sagte, unsere Liebe könnte bei Bienes Heimflug neuen Gefahren ausgesetzt werden.
Viele liebe Grüße aus dem sommerlichen Kanada! Gruß auch an Dieter!
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That sounds like a very sensible compromise to me! So often in life, solutions can be found if only people are willing to compromise. I’m looking forward to hearing Biene’s response!
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Compromises where everyone involved gives a little is the best way to deal with and solve problems in general. Obviously I was quite adamant about holding on to our original plans and diversions which could jeopardize them. Thanks, Ann!
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Good joke at the end. :))
Your letter was written in a fighting spirit. It put again pressure on Biene.
Her parents were quite stubborn and unwilling to accept that her daughter is a free person.
I wonder why love still existed between you both. All those quarrels.
All those headaches.
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I can safely say that these headaches and quarrels were the test whether our love each other strong enough to take on the challenges of married life.
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Nice also to see old pictures and this antique Mercedes especially, I very well remember to this model being used as a taxi in Germany. Isn’t the Banff region nowadays a National Park? Must visit Canada sometimes really
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Yes, this is Banff National Park, well worth a visit!
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I am amazed at your patience and willingness to go on and on trying to find solutions to both practical and emotional problems… what a long and winding way you had to travel… will be fascinated to see where the next bend in this road takes you both…
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Oh, thank you, Valerie, and welcome on board at the long and complex tail end of a love story that began in an equally strangely convoluted way in Germany. Thank you for your insightful comment, Valerie!
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Dear Peter, I’ve been following this story for a long while… but haven’t been able to work out how to comment before !!!
No technological savvy !
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I was interested to read how you responded to Biene’s last letter. I’m afraid I often forget how incredibly expensive and difficult it was to travel to another country and set up home at that time. I hadn’t fully appreciated some of the potential financial pitfalls you faced until you clearly spelled them out. As ever, I’m keen to see what happens next.
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You assessed the situation correctly, Bun. The financial burden was my main concern. I saw in the desire of Biene’s parents to have her come back at Christmas as a ploy to throw more obstacles into our plans of getting married in Canada. I also saw a great danger in Biene’s willingness to compromise and giving in to her parents’ demands. Thank you, dear Bun, for your continued interest in our story!
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You’re welcome, Peter. You and Biene had a very interesting and eventful romance!
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