Chapter 40 of the Peter and Gertrud Klopp Story – Part I

/ Peter Klopp
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City of Calgary – Photo Credit: rossaitken.ca

A Young Man’s Anxiety about the Future

“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.”

-Noam Chomsky

Loving the Real Person, not the Fantasy Hero

March 11th, Calgary

My dear Biene,

You know me as a very cautious person, who often perceives the future as more ominous than it is. Yet now I can state with a clear conscience that I will certainly pass all my final exams in April. My academic achievements are already way above the average. In Math I collected so many percentage points that I wouldn’t need to take the final in order to pass the course. The last exam day is April 29th. Now if we were really reasonable, it would be best if you came in May, when all my studies will be over. But my desire is to see you again much sooner. Also I think it to be in our favour if you keep your fingers crossed right here close to me. It will certainly help.

Quite frankly I am getting quite a bit scared. I am really looking forward to your coming, but the burden of new responsibilities gives cause to think about many things. You must understand, Biene, why I had asked so strongly for preparedness for our great adventure. The inner bond between us must rest on solid ground. Biene, it is not the money that bothers me, but the fact as I had said before that you want to go away again, even if only for a short time. I don’t know, Biene. Call it selfishness, if you wish, but I feel it is not right what you have in mind out of love for your mother. Yet, I don’t want to dwell on it any more. I believe that your trip to the Canadian Embassy in Cologne will shed considerable light on this matter. In suspense I am awaiting your answer.

Dear Biene, I believe you that you are wearing my ring. Lately I really had to restrain myself. Often frightening thoughts are surfacing and I don’t know why. So the thought that had been tormenting me in my subconscious suddenly had slipped out. I felt a certain kind of relief afterwards, until I realized that I felt better at your expense and a few days later felt very sorry about this question.

The hero and angel from England will not appear at the Calgary Airport. But I consider myself lucky that the illusion of a superwoman has been taken away from me! Do you not also believe that it is the greatest mistake a man can commit in his ecstasy to no longer see his partner as a human being? I think that life taught me a very valuable lesson in this regard. Dear Biene, take also great care not to see more in me than reality will permit.

Letter continued on next week’s post …

34 thoughts on “Chapter 40 of the Peter and Gertrud Klopp Story – Part I”

  1. Oh, how being separated can make one realize how human we all are and how the heart tries to reverse that and elevate the heart and soul into the heavens. Your letters are so moving and I so enjoy the fact that you are sharing them all with us.

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  5. The agony of being young and unsure of the future is so evident in your letters. Also, your strong love for Biene shines through it all. Peter, thank you for sharing your story with us! It is very moving!

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  6. It seems we are finally getting close to Biene’s arrival, and I find myself anxious for both of you. I am looking forward to the next post and her response to your letter. Did you ever talk by phone at all during this long separation? It must have been so very difficult.

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    • In Germany we met only four or five times. The rest was getting to know each other by correspondence. Biene did not have a phone in Germany. So we never talked to each other. It was truly a miracle that she actually came to Canada to marry the man she barely knew from face to face encounters. Thank you, Amy, for your heart-felt comment!

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  8. When I read your letter, Drar Peter – I almost feel as the whole story is happening to me – you are such a sincere , considerate and responsible person , no wonder Biene decided to marry you after only seeing you 5 times . The fact that you are preplanning the future here already indicates your solid character( even though uncertain and insecure in writings ). We need more young men like you nowadays !!! Love all of this .☀️

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    • Thank you, dear Luda, for your compliment! Yes, it takes a lot of love and trust to follow a man to a far-away country and leave friends and family behind. Many blogging friends were amazed at all the twists and turns in our love story. If you go back in time to Christmas 1963 by clicking on the tab ‘Klopp Story’, you can gather a few more insights into our stormy and often rocky relationship. It is indeed a first class miracle that Biene and I actually got together and became husband and wife. Thank you so much, Luda, for writing such a hear-felt comment!

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  10. Peter, that is amazing that you both met in Germany only four or five times and you have developed such a deep love and compassion for one another just through out letters. Now knowing that fact, it puts decisions of getting married and coming over to Canada in a different perspective to me, in more understanding Biene’s hesitations and worries. Yet you both were definitely meant for each other, your letters show so much compassion and deep love. Chomsky’s quote is absolutely a live lesson to go by. Have a wonderful week.

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  11. Ich finde auch, wie schon öfter erwähnt, daß Ihr sehr, sehr mutig Eure Zukunft in Angriff genommen habt, obwohl Ihr Euch wirklich recht wenig gesehen habt.
    Natürlich idealisiert man anfangs die Beziehung zum Partner und denkt, daß sprichwörtlich Glaube und Liebe Berge versetzen können. Ob das so ist, zeigt dann allerdings der ganz normale Alltag. Da beweist sich erstmal, ob das Zusammenleben zu zweit wirklich so ist,wie man es sich erträumt hat, oder?😉 Und wenn es anders läuft, sollten ja beide erst recht zusammenstehen.
    Ihr seid heute noch zusammen, trotz gewiß vieler Kämpfe und Schwierigkeiten, also erübrigt sich alles wenn und aber..
    Mal sehen, wie der Brief weitergeht!
    Alles Liebe für Dich und Biene.👋👋
    Edda

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    • Ja, da hast du den Nagel wieder mal auf den Kopf getroffen, liebe Edda. Im Alltagsleben beweist sich erst der Mensch und zeigt, dass das Briefschreiben nicht nur ein abstraktes Geschwafel war. Gerade im Zusammenleben unter ärmlichen Bedingungen haben Biene und ich so manches lernen müssen. Vielen Dank für deine lieben Worte und herzliche Grüße von Biene und Peter!

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