
Rocky Mountains 1966
What Biene had Arranged with her Mother
January 14th ,1966,Velbert
My dear Peter,
Finally I can take all your fears away. My mother is looking at my departure in a calm and collected manner, because she now knows – which wasn’t clear to her before – that I can return any time in case of an emergency. She had been in the mistaken belief that I would commit myself to some sort of obligation, which would not allow me to come home so soon. My dear Peter, do not take it as my giving in or as a sign of weakness that I promised my mother to come home for Christmas. That way saying goodbye will not be so difficult. She can now hope to see me again in the not so distant future.
Also she has now gotten used to the idea of us two getting married. Only my father remains unbending. He says that he does not want to cast me out, but he would not financially support me in the least. My dear Peter, this is in complete contradiction of what my parents have promised me in the summer. I can only explain it by their desire to console me in my desperation, but they never counted on all this becoming a reality. I know now that in private they believed that while I was in England I would take my mind off our plans.
See dear Peter, I gathered from remarks that my father will write you a letter. I hope he will not hurt your feelings. That’s why I prepared you for it. Whatever he may write, don’t let him offend you.
I enjoy my work at Yale & Towne, an American company, located here in Velbert. Because of my knowledge of English, I do a lot of translations of mostly technical nature, but also take care of my boss’s correspondence. So in a way I perform my duties almost as a personal secretary. Once I am in Canada, I would like to work in an office and later, when we are doing financially well, I would also like to enrol in a university program to obtain at least the lowest possible teaching diploma.
My dear Peter, I only hope that you are calm again and you have forgiven me. Certainly everything will turn out good in the end.
In love,
Your Biene
Biene’s reply is so much more positive than her previous letter. However, she is still trying to people please which ends up pleasing no one. The twists and turns of your story is so interesting, Peter. I am looking forward to the net installment. Blessings and prayers for speedy recovery.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your blessings and prayers! I am looking forward to a complete recovery. Thank you too for your thoughtful comment!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are you sick? Sorry to hear that! All the best to you!
LikeLike
Looks like the path to love was becoming more clear.
From the prior comment it seems you’ve been ill? Hope all is well soon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, Biene tries so hard to please her parents, still she is in a difficult position, to solve the knot, her parents tied tightly around her life. Yet , she is sincerely preparing her life spending with you together and foreseeing a future how to find a career once you are married. She truly is a beautiful soul.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, Cornelia, you are so right about Biene, trying so hard to please her parents and to please me at the same time. But where there is a conflict, it cannot be resolved by trying to please everyone. That is a tough lesson to learn. Some never learn it. But most as they grow older catch on to its value. Thank you, Cornelia, for your thoughts and insights in your comment! Have a great weekend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ich bewundere Biene vor allem dafür, daß sie diese Auseinandersetzungen
in der Familie nicht davon abhalten konnten, sich weiter für Euch beide und Eure gemeinsame Zukunft einzusetzen . Trotz des Widerstandes vor allem ihres Vaters schreibt sie auch Dir ganz klar, was sie sich in Eurem gemeinsames Leben vorgenommen hat, um Eure Zukunft mit zu gestalten.Sie macht auch Dir immer wieder Mut.. Es muß für sie sehr schwer gewesen sein, von allen zu Hause zu hören, daß Eure Pläne in ihrer Familie so gar keine Zustimmung fanden, sie von niemanden so richtig unterstützt wurde.
Was Bienes Vater wohl in seinem Brief an Dich schreibt?
Herzliche Grüße !
Edda
LikeLiked by 2 people
Liebe Edda, ja Bienes Worte in ihrem neuesten Brief hatten auch mir ein wenig wieder Mut gemacht. Doch hatte ich nicht verstanden, dass Biene die Kompromisse über den Rückflug zu Weihnachten nur deswegen gemacht hat, um ihre Mutter zu beruhigen. Auch ihre Pläne über eine spätere Lehrerausbildung hatten mich zu der Zeit sehr getroffen, da ich darin eine Gefahr für unsere Familie sah. Nun nehme ich das Kommende schon ein wenig vorweg. Aber dann verstehst du vielleicht meine Reaktion ein bisschen besser.
Herzliche Grüße!
Peter
LikeLike
A strong woman, even if she is trying to please others, she sticks to what is important to her. Biene still tries to find excuses for her father that he didn’t keep what he promised before though … 😉 … I wonder if he really was thinking so much of her welfare or maybe more of his own … Some men of that generation used money as a means of power over family members, my father and grandfather did … and it seems that Biene’s father did. I wonder if these men are completely unaware of that this behaviour might cost them the love of their child? Or don’t they care? I have a hard time understanding it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are are spot on when it comes to the correct assessment of Biene’s father. As it turned out you used this conflict as an excuse to keep the money in his pocket. Biene’s mother on the other hand supported us later by putting some of her household money into her letters to Biene. Thank you, Brigit, for your lovely comment!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice guy … Biene’s mother was between two chairs all the time, must have been hard for her too …
LikeLiked by 1 person
So sweet. I continue to enjoy your love story
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jodi!
LikeLike
Biene hat sich sehr entwickelt in der Zeit, und, dass Sie langsam ihren Weg gehen will, finde ich toll, vor allem, dass sie Eure Verbindung immer wichtiger einschätzt. In dem Alter sollte man die Verbindung zu einem Partner wichtiger finden als die Verbindung zu den Eltern. Das ist normal. Ich kann mir das alles gar nicht mehr vorstellen, wie es früher war. Wie sollte man so erwachsen werden? Schöne Grüße, lieber Peter, aus dem etwas abgekühlten Hamburg. Wir hatten eine wirkliche “tropical heatwave”. Mitza
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ich hatte nie gezweifelt, dass Biene zu mir nach Kanada kommen würde. Wir hatten nur um die kostspielenden Flüge unsere Meinungsverschiedenheiten. Auch befürchtete ich, dass der Zirkus mit dem emotionalen Tauziehen von vorne anfangen würde, falls Biene zu Weihnachten wieder nach Hause fliegen würde. Auch von hier, wo das Wetter dem deutschen sehr ähnlich in den letzten sechs Wochen war, die herzlichsten Grüße! Peter
LikeLike
I’m still following your story with great interest! I’m glad that Biene is now promising to come to you in Canada, but sad that she is still meeting opposition from her father. Sometimes, I think we just need to go for what we believe in, and let the chips fall where they may.
Thanks for sharing this story with us… And best wishes on your continued recovery!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, Ann, that is exactly what Biene did. At the end her family including her father were happy with her decision. Thanks, Ann, for your encouraging comment!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t understand Biene’s father. To threaten to not support financially his own daughter is way beyond my understanding. Maybe he felt, that as a “Oberhaupt” of the family he has to do something significantally.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Biene’s father belonged to a generation that is hard to understand from a modern point of view. So naturally he himself was very hard to understand with his many archaic opinions, such as a husband has to be able to feed his wife. Haha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So many twists and turns in your love story! I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to try to please everybody. But I am happy that she seems so committed to come to Canada…love conquers all!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true, true love is a powerful force that overcomes many obstacles. Thank you for your kind words, Tiny!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, this reply seems to me to strike a much more hopeful tone than some of the earlier ones. I know had I been in your shoes at that time, I’d have been caught between joy at Biene’s positive attitude and dread at the thought of what might be in her father’s letter.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The turns and twists of our love story were given yet another wrinkle by the fact that Biene’s father had sent his letter to my brother’s address in Calgary. I did not see my brother very often in those turbulent days. So I got to read almost a whole month after it arrived in Canada. That delay was actually a blessing…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Goodness me! Well, if the timing turned out to be helpful, then I’m glad you got the letter when you did. I love a happy ending, after all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not for a moment can one imagine that it would have been an easy passage for either of you. But love and determination will shine through.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed, it was a time when our love for one another was tested to the limit of endurance. The reward was that we still together after more than half a century. Thank you, Arkur, for your kind comment!
LikeLiked by 1 person